


So Sick of Love Songs

by thaladiikae



Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: Angst, M/M, Songfic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-11-26
Updated: 2015-11-26
Packaged: 2018-05-03 11:42:44
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 985
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5289380
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thaladiikae/pseuds/thaladiikae
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Phil sat down in the middle of the floor. His phone sat between his legs in his lap. So many times he tried this task, this remedial task, and so many times he failed. It was just a simple voicemail greeting he had to get rid of. Nothing more. But everytime he listened to it, his heart would crack just a little more.</p>
            </blockquote>





	So Sick of Love Songs

Phil sat down in the middle of the floor. His phone sat between his legs in his lap. So many times he tried this task, this remedial task, and so many times he failed. It was just a simple voicemail greeting he had to get rid of. Nothing more. But everytime he listened to it, his heart would crack just a little more.

It was because Dan's voice was on it. Phil recorded it around the time they first became a couple and Dan could be heard in the background making inappropriate comments. Phil thought it was cute and kept it, but now he was alone and wanted it gone. Did he? Not really. As much as he felt the urge to get rid of the message, It was the last reminant of Dan's voice he had. Deep inside, he still needed it.

Phil leaned back and laid down trying not to think of his lost lover. But it was so hard not to. They had too many good times together. He'd replaced the couch they snuggled on, the bed they cuddled on, even the kitchen where they taught themselves how to cook with so many kisses and laughs was remodeled. Nothing worked though.  

He looked to the side and noticed the paper calendar hanging delicately on the wall. It was another thing he had yet to get rid of. November 15th was still circled. Phil couldn't stop the pain of that date from hitting him in the chest like a shovel. It was the anniversary of the day Dan asked him on their first date. They'd confessed their love before and waited until that day to have a proper date. It was such a happy night and every year after that was even happier and that was what hurt Phil the most. It was so much lost happiness. Why did the man he love leave him so broken? Phil closed his eyes letting the tears break free down his face.

Not wanting to deal with this emotions, Phil left to his room. He didn't even look across the hall at Dan's old bedroom which he transformed into a guestroom, stripping it of any lingering memory of the brown haired boy. Phil's room was the same as its always been. Nothing changing in the slightest. He resolved that he didn't want to change anything either.

He sat on his bed and dried his cheeks. Its been awhile since Dan packed and left without a goodbye. They had a fight about who knows what one night and the next morning, Phil was the only one there. He spent a month or two crying and moping around then made a resolve to move on. He was doing a good job except for his bad days like this one where he'd try to get rid of the last few reminders of his danosaur.

Silence wasn't helping his mood so he turned on the radio to his favorite station. He hadn't been listening to it lately and couldn't remember why until he heard what was playing. A love song. 'Why a love song?' he thought as the lyrics filled the room. He was sick of love songs constantly playing. Everyone was a different reminder of the past relationship he had. The best relationship he had. The one he didn't want to end.

He didn't want to go down memory lane again but the thoughts crept through. The dates out, the nights in, the soft kisses, the seductive touches, even his beautiful smile with those dimples. The memories were like dull knives stabbing thtough his heart. The possibility of marrage and children and growing old together. The thoughts kept eating away at him. Why didn't they leave him alone. Why did he have to mess it up?

Phil couldn't take the hurt, but couldn't bring himself to turn off the radio either. Although he was tired of the constant reminders of what used to be and the nonstop wishing things were different, the music stayed on. Phil was stronger than this. He knew he had the capability to get over Dan and that was what angered him. Why can't he just do it then? Why couldn't he just leave Dan in the past? What wrong with you Phil?

His hands started shaking as the lovesick induced anger took him over. He didn't know how to handle anything anymore. He looked at the radio on his nightstand still playing music. He went over to his desk and threw everything off of it with a swipe of his arm. Why did he and Dan have so much fun? The crash of his laptop and the many glass pictures smashing to the ground gave him a little bit of relief but not enough. He went to his dresser and threw everything off of it. Why was Dan so easy to fall in love with? Why where they so perfect for each other? He ran over to his wardrobe with tears blurring his vision and knocked it over thinking of all the clothes he and Dan shared. Why did it have to end? Why wouldn't he just stay? Phil even pushed his mattress and boxspring over huffing as the sobs constricted his lungs. The nightstand fell over but the slow melodies didn't subside. Why can't I just get over him? Phil crashed into in the corner, curled into a ball and started crying.

He could delete all the pictures off his computer. He could get rid of every one of Dan's possesions. He could even go out with his friends and party with an attractive stranger til the sun came up. But he just couldn't turn off the radio.

"I'm so sick of love songs, 

So tired of tears. 

So done with wishing, 

You were still here.

So sick of love songs, 

So sad and slow. 

So why can't I turn off the radio."


End file.
